How can I close the gap between who I am and who I want to be?

…..some days I can see the person I want to be so clearly. I can see the steps to becoming a calm, focused, and driven person. I can picture myself excited to jump out of bed in the morning, connect with my family and friends, engage in meaningful work, and care for my body. Sometimes I can even BE that person for a day or two. 

BUT

…most days my mood is in a yo-yo state. It’s like I’m on a rollercoaster in my own body. Despite my strengths and skills, I’m paralyzed by fear, worry, and shame. I am my own worst critic and find it so hard to be kind to myself. Instead of being present for the moment, I’m constantly thinking about all the things I should have done or said. People usually like me, but I am terrified to really open up to others and end up sabotaging my relationships.